Ojalá, Selah, Lateda

Happy Halloween

I could probably write paragraph after paragraph about what it might mean that my doodling looks like this today. However I’ll save it for another post and let this just be a Halloween greeting. Happy Halloween!

IF: Repair

“I am ready and willing to make the effort, but I’m not sure if my tools
are sufficient for the magnitude of the repairs that need to be made.”

For Illustration Friday: Repair

Mixed Media: Pen & Ink with Digital Collage

And now for something completely different…

So, I have been trying to do this Artists’ Way thing to make myself into a “real” visual artist. I’m on the 8th week and last night I completely surprised myself. When asked to finish the sentence, “In a perfect world, I would secretly love to be..” I did not write painter, artist, illustrator, or anything relating to the visual artist. I wrote that I wanted to be an author. This really got my own attention. When the next question was to the effect of “what are you going to do about it?” I had nothing. I’ve been thinking about it all day. So then this evening I was doing a little surfing and I came across National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. I’m not a writer. I write my morning pages and occasionally blog but I don’t think I’ve even attempted a short story since I was in college. But I’m going to do this anyway. I am going to completely let myself off the hook when it comes to my visual art. I won’t worry about Illustration Friday and I may even put away my easel and unfinished masks and such. I’ll keep on with my morning pages and trying to do artist’s dates and I can use the tasks as my way of procrastinating just as I do now for my visual art. Even if I fail to reach the word count I will be be done with wondering if I have it in me to be a writer. And since it’s all about quantity and speed I don’t actually have to even worry about it being any good. It will be all about the discipline I’ve been lacking with my visual art. I’m so excited. Wish me luck.

IF: Late

“It is late. Someone needs to pluck me up and put me to bed.”

For Illustration Friday: Late 

IF: Sugary

For Illustration Friday: Sugary

“Her denial of all things sugary led to her diminishing.”

This is another combination of hand and digital techniques. If it wasn’t already Thursday afternoon I would probably scan it in, play with it, print it out, draw on it and scan it in again a few more times. I would work on her hand and the way the cupcake floats over the jelly bean jar in particular. I like her expression though. She seems so resolute in her refusal.

Artist Date Refusenick

So there was this comment from M in Scotland after my comment about being a week behind the rest of the group in the Artists Way. It is haunting me. I can’t seem to think of much of anything else. She said… “There is no need to catch up with the Artists Way just read the chapter and do one or two of the exercises. The thing to not skimp on is the Artist Dates. I’ve faciliated the Artists’ Way for over 10 years now and I’ve found the students who don’t make any progress are the ones who are artist date refusenick. Do nothing else but do an artist date and you are still on the Artists Way !”   Oh no! I thought I was doing so well with my devotion to writing my morning pages and forcing myself to do as many tasks that didn’t sound as I did ones that did seem like they would be fun. But I must admit my Artist’s Dates have not been what they should have been. The first one at the bookstore was good, and the next one would have been great if I hadn’t brought my kids along, but then the next week all I did was go to the outlet mall by myself for an hour, and then I tried to count the Women of Faith conference as one even though I wasn’t alone for a second of it. I have compromised a lot and tried to justify why I haven’t been as true to them as I say I want to be. The biggest justifier I have used is that there just aren’t many places that are interesting to go in this tiny little town and that if I’m going to go somewhere neat and interesting then I should allow my children to be exposed to it as well. Plus there is the issue of my husband and I working almost opposite schedules and the price of gas and babysitters and my excuses can go on and on, and they are good excuses.  But I want to make progress. I want to start seeing some synchronicity. I want everything this book talks about. I really truly want to be on the Artists Way. Thinking Woman commented on my last post that there should be a version of this book for people with kids. I agree. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to actually get out there alone and take my artist self on a date?

Artists’ Way: Week 4

Oh my. Week 4 of the Artists’ Way dragged out over 2 weeks. I think I was pretty close to not making it through. But here I am. I answered my check-in questions and read Week 5’s chapter today. I’m now over a week behind the rest of the online group and haven’t read anyone else’s posts about it for 2 weeks, but at least I’m still in. I’ve discovered I am very good at self-sabotage and can come up with a million “good things” to do rather than feed my artist. Week 5 is going to be sooo good for me, wish me luck with keeping it up.

Ok, so I just posted this and walked away from the computer to continue on with my evening. But then I came right back. I don’t think the above does justice to my two weeks of Week 4. They really were very full weeks, physically, emotionally and spiritually. They deserve a bit more reflection. So if my lovely children will permit it I will try to elaborate. (3 more people were fired at my office today so my reading and writing of blogs and such things will be done solely from home from now on. Which should have been the case all along, I know. )

Week 4 included my birthday weekend and my husband gave me the fabulous present of a weekend in Atlanta with my favorite church friend for the Women of Faith conference. I had never been to a Christian stadium event before and being surrounded by 16,000 or so women of faith was quite the experience. More than once during the worship music I just stood and stared around at the mass of ladies filling up the arena. My concerns that right-wing politics were going to mar my experience were unfounded. I am cynical by nature and was a little put off by how much was for sale and how often we were told to buy it, but I had no “out-of-context” or “Hallmark card theology” alarm bells go off during the speakers. I was completely won over by Patsy Clairmont. She is an amazing woman. That she was able to go from being an agoraphobic shut-in to speaking to 1000’s of people is staggering. And she is able to effectively mix humor, a Biblical perspective and inspiration. In fact, all the speakers were amazing women (well, except Max Lucado, he’s still a man.) I think my biggest take-away from the conference was the idea that all these speakers and singers having such an amazing impact on stadiums full of women, are in fact very ordinary women. The main thing that sets them apart is that they went through intense trials and trusted God through them. Each seemed to have really surrendered their life to God and His will and he has decided to do amazing things through them. I was inspired to more fully surrender myself to God’s plan for my life. But along with that an old fear was brought up.

Oh my, the timer just went off. I asked my kids for 20 minutes of quiet time to write this without any interruptions and that time is up. Oh well. Perhaps leaving this entry unfinished will bring me back sooner. Hope so anyway, I think this process is good for me.